please come you make the beer taste better
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
