the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
