google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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