I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
