Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
