I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
