when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
