What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
