i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
