Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
