I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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