Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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