I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
