Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
