He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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