So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
