I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
