Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
