i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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