No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
