how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
