I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
