dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
