So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
