Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
