it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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