my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
