You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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