i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
