woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
