Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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