i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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