I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
