Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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