bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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