Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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