Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
