I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
