I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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