Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
