next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
