I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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