Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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