so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
