Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
