he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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