Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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