Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
