He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
