yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
