I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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